The Unintentional Pothead

Last January I came across this list in my shopping cart at the grocery store. Before chucking it into the store trash receptacle, I looked at it to make sure it wasn't something important, worthy of lost and found. At first glance, it's just some random shopping list, unimportant. But upon closer inspection, this became a gem. A happy, silly treasure that I decided to take home. My intention was to show it to my husband and share a good chuckle with him. I promise, I've never done this kind of thing before but it was too good to resist! Somehow, between the car and the house I lost this piece of paper, and then oddly enough, I came across it in the downstairs bathroom this morning.

So, of course, I decided to share it with all of you!

From the list it's clear to see that the individual who wrote this is a college student --rent, computer, registration--are only some of the clues. A girl with a cat-Glamour (magazine?), cat food. Tobacco tripped me up, if she smoked wouldn't she write cigarettes instead? Hmmmm.... A possible recluse, again, the cat and then netflix.  And then there's the $30 pot. Clearly she's not talking about the kind you cook in, if she were, I figure it would have been listed between 'trashbags' and 'floss', not between 'registration' and 'store'. But I began to wonder, as I drove home from the grocery store, what pothead allocates funds for weed? And this person's list is so concise and well thought out. So where's the junk food? I find it hard to believe that a college student is going to get high and then cook up some squash and onions to meet those cravings. So for s*** and giggles I thought it might be fun to briefly step into her shoes.

Dear Diary, 

I know it has been a while since I've checked in. Things have been crazy busy around here. What with Trish, my new roomie, moving in last weekend and then that cooking class. It just ended, I think I aced it though, so that's good. Last night I made spaghetti from one of the recipes I learned. Delish! It had just the right amount of spice and that basil I found in Trish's side of the medicine cabinet gave it some serious zing. Trish liked it, too, before it was said and done we ate the entire pot. So much for freezing it into smaller portions for later. I guess we were really hungry, this morning I couldn't find anything to eat-even the butter was gone. Luckily, I just got paid so I was able to go to the store for some provisions, but then I lost my list halfway through and I ended up coming home with only Juju Beans, pork rinds and some food for Dottie. That poor cat doesn't get much attention lately, hope it doesn't get worse once classes start up again. 

Trish doesn't care about Dottie, says she stinks the place out with her litter box. I say Dottie was here first, if anyone's going it's Trish. Besides, I'm already sick of her attitude. She yelled at me when I didn't come home with more basil, though she calls it pot--she's very bohemian, so who am I to correct? But really, how was I to know that she didn't want me to use it? Who keeps spices in the medicine cabinet, anyway? And then to have to go meet some guy over on Louis Street and hand over the little bit of spending money I have. Why can't I just buy more at Walmart like the rest of the world? They sell organic, I could get it for a couple bucks, too, keep some money in my pocket. Well, I must go. I have to rewrite another list, and while I'm at the store I'll pick up some of that herb Trish was wanting, I'm sure she won't know the difference.