My favorite words are those that are positive. I love praise, it is a glorious thing, sometimes even better than a hug. And I think it should be given freely. I live each day by this code, wanting to make others happy and thrilled to do so. If I have one ambition in this life, it is to leave my mark, and to leave this world a better place for it. (This is the main reason I began writing to begin with) However, I don't think praise should be given when it isn't deserved, or when it's a total lie. Because then the words tend to lose their power, becoming these weightless, plasticky things with absolutely no meaning at all. There's nothing sincere about lying. It only ever does more harm than good.
On the flip side, when given for the mere purpose of being cruel, criticism is equally bad, and just as devastating. It cuts like a knife, creating a festering wound and those words are the ones that stay with you long after the glow of praise has faded away. They eat at your spirit. Those are the words that pick on us night and day, badgering and driving us into the ground. Sometimes we never get over them.
And then there's the in-between. Constructive criticism. Last night I was privy to a blast of this. It felt like my muse aimed right at my heart and pulled the trigger, each word stinging. How could he be so cruel? But after the initial shock wore off, I noticed that mixed in with the criticism were shimmering words of praise. And I realized then that I wasn't under attack, he was only just attempting to show me something I'd missed. It wasn't personal. He was trying to give me sound advice, to help me hone my craft. I blinked back my tears and took a deep breath. Then I actually moved past my pride, and absorbed the meaning of his words. Some suggestions I took and some I left.
I have no doubt that his advice will better my writing. But most importantly are the words he'd used, and the tact with which he'd expressed his ideas. Today, instead of feeling like I'm a shoddy writer who should give up altogether and pursue something else, I feel motivated. No harsh feelings and no resentment remain--only hope for the future of my work and its place in this world.
